Thursday, June 20, 2013

Life Lessons as a New Mom

   I stumbled upon this a while back and it stirred something up in me. When I was pregnant, friends who already had children would tell me "Just wait. People will be telling you what to do for your baby constantly." I always brushed it off because no one in my life would do that to me.  I really didn't realize how much people (even strangers) want to interject on how you are raising your child.  Put aside the learning to function on little sleep, learning to be a mom; the hardest lesson I've had to learn in my six and a half months of motherhood is how to handle people with grace. I had always been the type of person that will shut you out if you say something I don't like, but I have seen myself do that as a mom and I see that it's not healthy (especially if I want to maintain relationships).

   At times, I'd respond with, "Yeah, but Rory and I.." and I still felt like I was being a pushover. I do not want to agree with someones opinions that are unwelcome. No I do not need to leave my daughter. No I do not need to start solids before she is ready. No I do not need to go out with my husband and leave the baby. No I do not need to put her in public school; I can home school if that's what Rory and I choose. No I don't need to buy her this or feed her that. I don't quite understand why people think it's okay to tell you how to raise your child. If someone sharing these opinions has had or have children of their own, I just think "You got to raise your kids already." And weren't they uncomfortable when someone interjected with the way they were raising their child? I'm sure most people have good intentions and just want to share what worked for them, but I still disagree with projecting your parental "guidance" on someone.

   Rory doesn't really understand why I get so angry at this situation. He says, "People are just trying to help in their own way." (We are so opposite. I want to yell and scream at everyone while he analyzes why something happened and will always find the good in it.) I either don't like it because I simply do not like being told what to do or because I've waited my whole life to be a mom and I want to do it our way.. my way? I don't have the desire to leave her. I don't feel like I need a break. I like to have dates with my husband and her. We enjoy being together.

  I still am struggling with how to handle this all, but I am going to try my best to do it gracefully. Rory and I are the luckiest parents of a happy, healthy, gorgeous baby girl and what we choose for us is our decision. No one else's.

  I'm sure this happens to everyone, I know it does. And I'm sure it will happen with every child we have. This is why I must learn to Keep Calm and Carry On.. ha!

last three photos by Dallas Sterling

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