Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Raising a Confident Girl

I can remember knowing that I wasn't as pretty as my best friends. I can remember the transition into really hating my body. I can remember the comments about my weight, about my flat chest, and about being fair skinned. Let's get real.. people are mean! No matter if it's a classmate, a family member, a stranger.. negative comments about your appearance sting and they stay with you for life.

I mentioned in my weight loss journey post that I didn't really start to realize I had been overweight until I was being told how great I was looking by family and friends. I know it came from a positive place, but unfortunately that's when I started to be overly insecure about my body. I've lost fifty two pounds since Logan was born and if people I haven't seen in a while don't comment about it.. I automatically think that I must not have changed much and feel negatively about my weight loss. It's a vicious thing.

Some people comment on Logan's "juicy" thighs because they think she's adorable. But then there's that person that comments on it in a condescending manner and it's not okay. Logan is perfectly healthy and right where she is supposed to be. I know we will do our best to make healthy eating and  healthy lifestyle choices; I will do my best to keep her healthy. I don't think she will be overweight, but I am afraid of the comments (about anything) I can't control. Unfortunately you can't go postal on people you see often or even strangers. You know, possible arrest and awkwardness at family dinners.

I want Logan to be confident in herself. I want her to feel like the pretty girl. I want her to make good choices and to be active. I want her to stand up to anyone that speaks negatively to her. How do you instill body confidence in your child when you don't have any for yourself?

I don't want her to be dependent on other peoples' opinions like I am. I have to clear my head of everything I was told, everything I was not told and start fresh for her. Raising a confident girl is going to be hard, but I am going to do my absolute best. She deserves it.

Any advice?



  1. Ali,
    I've always thought you're beautiful. For as long as I can remember, I've looked up to you and to Kelly. And you have a beautiful and happy baby girl. I'm really not one to give advice, but I can tell you from my own experiences-
    I've found that the most beautiful people are the ones who are happiest. In struggling with weight and body image, I recognize that every single quality that I value and wish to emulate comes from a place where dress size doesn't matter. Being a smaller human won't make me more intelligent, funnier, or any more compassionate. People are dicks, and unfortunately there is no helping that. But you can be grateful for the adorable little person you've made, and the fact that you can love her and teach her to be a whole and well rounded person.

  2. Amen Danielle. Ali - you are so beautiful! I am so thankful that you are my daughter and I love you to the moon and back.