Tuesday, September 10, 2013

On Being Grateful

You hear people say "Live each day as if it's your last" and you think "Yeah totally", but do you really? Do you wake up next to your spouse and tell yourself to tell them you love them and be kind to them like it was going to be your last day together? I know how the sayings go.. I know to appreciate life.. I know to be grateful for each day I have with my family and friends... but I don't truly live it.

A few days ago, a kind, funny, and loving man lost his life in an accident. He is leaving behind a wife, two very young daughters, and countless loved ones. This man was not my close friend.. I knew him.. and I've had some drinks with him and have laughed with him.. but he was a close friend to my close friends and it stings. It is heartbreaking that a selfless woman lost her husband. It's heartbreaking that two little innocent girls lost their father.

It's times like these that I get down on my knees to tell God I believe in his plan.. that I have faith in it, but I don't understand it. It's hard to be a person of faith when something like this happens and all you can say is "It's Gods plan.. he is in Heaven.. we will see him again.. we are sad because we are left behind" and sometimes that isn't enough.

I have a lot of guilt still because of my Uncles death. My Uncle had a hard life; he was an addict and it eventually took him away from us. The last time I spoke to him was about a month or so before his death and I was angry at him for "choosing to be an addict".. I didn't understand. He called very late and I half heartedly listened to him telling me how much he loved me, how proud he was of me, how much he loved that I stayed true to myself.. and then the next I heard of him was his death. I feel so much guilt for not telling him I loved him too, for not understanding his illness, for not being compassionate. I talk to him almost every day and I know he hears me.. I know he's not angry with me, but I still regret my behavior and wish I could go back to that phone call every day.

Every day I wake up with my beautiful family and I expect to go to bed with them every night as well. I talk to my mom every day and never think I wont talk to her the next. Every time I see a family member or friend and I kiss them goodbye, I don't think that will be the last time I see them.

It's so important to be kind to the ones we love every day. It's so important not to get angry over petty things. It's so important to let the people we love most know it. It's so important to cherish God's beautiful Earth and the life we live on it.

Go kiss your family... I am going to.

xo
-Ali

1 comment :

  1. aww ali i'm sorry for the loss of your uncle, and for that woman's husband... that is definitely something tough to swallow, but you're doing exactly the right thing, and you're right he CAN hear you. life is such a mystery to me sometimes and i often wonder why people go through the pain they do. why does god have to take away so they suffer? bleh. hugging your family and cherishing every moment is what counts!

    xo
    jenna
    mama daze blog

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