Monday, October 28, 2013

Better Version of Me?

 Logan had her first Halloween party at Gymboree over the weekend. It was fun to finally see her in the costume I made.. I'm pretty sure that she is the cutest gnome to ever exist!

Rory and I really enjoyed watching her participate in music, play and even craft time with her little friends, but we kept looking at each other and saying "This is weird. We're parents". It's one thing to have a baby and have the baby be integrated in to your every day life, but when your baby starts becoming an actual interactive person who has friends and gets invited to things.. it's kind of weird. It's a whole new stage of life that is beginning for us and it's taking some getting used to.

I'd take whatever kid I was nannying to the park, have girl talk with the other nannys, and the Calabasas moms would always keep their distance. When I taught pre school, the parents of the kids seemed so much older than me.. even if they weren't. It's odd to think of myself as someone in the "mom" group now; especially in my town where the moms are all bleach blond, have diamond rings bigger than my head, range rovers, and are on a Starbucks high. Is that judgmental? Oh well.

One of my favorite things about Logan making us a family is watching Rory be a dad. I love the way he plays with her.. the way he talks to her and laughs with her; it's the sweetest thing. Sometimes I'll look at him and think "Whoa. He's a dad." Is it just me?

I guess it's just that I've spent my entire life (with the exception of the last eleven months) being just me. Doing what I wanted, going where I pleased, sticking to my schedule and not worrying about much. Then I met Rory and it was just us. Even when I became a wife, it was just us. Going to parties, eating whatever and whenever, long road trips to Ikea and lazy Sundays; none of that happens anymore. When you stop doing what you've done for years, stop seeing a majority of the people who were important to you, and all around behave and think differently are you not you anymore? Or is being a parent just being a better version of yourself?


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