Friday, October 18, 2013

Mama Bear

^at a pumpkin patch during the middle of the day, on a weekday.. mama knows no kids will be around!^
One of my fears about taking Logan around other kids is that they will hurt her. I know kids get hurt, it's inevitable.. but sometimes I feel like some parents just don't watch their children. As a preschool teacher, I watched my kids like a hawk; making sure they didn't bite each other, making sure they played nicely and respected other childrens' space. Things happen quickly even if you're close by and watching; someone gets scratched or bitten or hit and that just seems to be a part of child development.

When we go to "open gym" at Gymboree, all ages are able to play in the same area, which I find sort of terrifying. Logan loves the big kids; she wants to follow them around and do what they are doing. The other day a mom I've never seen before was there with her crawling baby and her older son. The older kid was a total turd.. super demanding and cranky. He purposefully threw a ball at Logan's face to hurt her and the mom said "Oh, she can't catch yet.. you have to be careful." I was just thinking "are you kidding?" He was not playing catch with her.. he was being mean and wanted the attention. I don't like when parents make excuses like that for their kids; "she can't catch the ball you just wailed a her" "oh her arm isn't a cookie for biting". Some parents are oblivious and dumb and don't admit to their kids bad behavior.. what good does that do? Sometimes I will not hold back from a child that I think is misbehaving.. I don't care if they aren't mine. We attended a birthday party a few weeks ago and a little girl who was probably five was throwing balls at the little babies, was jumping off of things on to them, and was pushing her way through tiny kids to get to what they were going for. I finally had had it and asked her "Do I need to talk to your mom little girl?" Where was her mother anyway? I just may be that mom who goes ballistic on kids who pick on Logan or invade her space, or maybe just to the kids whose parents are on their cell phones rather than monitoring what's happening.

I'd like Logan to be in a little bubble away from jerky children who want to take what she's playing with or push her down for the negative attention from their parents.. I'd like Logan to also kick some serious ass in those cases, but that's probably not good parenting (If someone hits you, hit back hard! Forget that walk away crap). Something I've learned throughout the years is that kids are mean, and most parents shouldn't be parents. Yes, perhaps I sound like an a-hole, but you know you agree.

Where do you draw the line if someones child is being aggressive toward yours? You can't always go total mama bear on a kid, because then you'll make enemies and your kid wont have friends. But that might be nice because I'll be her only friend. Hey there selfish!

This goes along with my whole "how to handle aggressive adults" issue. There's still those adults telling me how to parent, telling me how not to parent. The biggest hardship since becoming a mom is learning how to control my anger, and especially my tongue. I am not a confrontational person, but if you're acting totally rude.. I will tell you. It seems that there is no good in that though because the only person that feels anything after that is yourself. If you scold someone elses child, they don't care.. and it seems that if you tell a person repeatedly you feel no need to leave your daughter, they still don't get it. This past weekend we went to the harbor in Santa Barbara with my family and we lost track of my sister and her kids. What happened was some lame teenager climbed into a bottle brush tree and shook the pollen all over them as they were walking under it. My sister had to strip her daughter down to shake all of the sticky pollen off of her and it took forever. I asked her, "Did you cuss him out?!" because that's what I would have done! She didn't. She said, "What good would that have done? He doesn't care, obviously." I don't know how she didn't say or do anything to someone who caused her child harm.. I would have gone to jail that day, but I guess, lesson learned. 

People who are dumb are always going to be dumb. Kids who are aggressive and out of control are not my responsibility. It's only my responsibility to be a good example to my daughter and to protect her.


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