Wednesday, December 11, 2013

A Rough Day and Things I Want to Remember About Right Now

It's been an exhausting day and a half over here. Yesterday, I gave Logan peanut butter for the first time and she started crying as soon as the first piece went in her mouth. I kept feeding it to her through the tears because I thought she was tired and ready for her nap that was going to happen right after lunch time. She didn't finish eating it, but I got some apple sauce in her so I just thought I'd let her be done and go to bed. As soon as I picked her up to get out of her high chair, she threw up all over us. I started carefully walking over toward the kitchen to clean us up and she threw up a lot more; all over the floor, on her play kitchen, it splattered onto the walls, and even jumped through the baby gate on to the bathroom door. Avoiding slipping and falling to our death, I made it to the kitchen counter and stripped us both naked, and she threw up again. I somehow managed to hold back the tears, keep my shit together, stuck her in the sink, washed her off, talked her through the dry heaving and excessive vomiting. Sweet Jesus. I wrapped her up in my one dishtowel I own, walked our naked butts upstairs, got us dressed, came downstairs, mopped several times, scrubbed the walls, and then she threw up again, and then again. I had a melt down and called Rory to hitch a ride home immediately because something was wrong; very wrong. Luckily, Rory was home in a jiff and everyone was able to calm down and asses what the fuck just happened. 

I really didn't think it was a peanut allergy at the time, but with all of the late night reading I did and the even more vomiting episodes she had throughout the rest of the day, I really felt like we needed to take her to the doctor. We went this morning, her blood was drawn, and in about a week we will know. It's a terrifying feeling to have your baby that sick, to not be able to help in any way but to try and comfort her with hugs, kisses, and singing favorite songs. She was up a few times last night, but I am thankful she didn't throw up in her crib at all. That time that she spit up on my shoulder and breathed it back in (causing her to choke) has traumatized me to the very core and I was scared that she'd throw up in bed, have her face in it and not be able to breathe. 

The doctor said with the immediate vomiting and the rash on her face, it definitely sounds like an allergic reaction. We will have to be very careful with what we feed her now. We need to inspect all labels for "may contain peanuts" and "peanut oil", but I'm glad that we may have found the culprit for those little rashes she gets on her face after eating some pastries (most cakes and pastries contain peanut oil apparently). 

I had this post written and ready to go for a few days now and after our rough day, it seems like a good time to share some happy.

Things I want to remember about Logan right now:

The way she hands you a book to read, then backs herself up into your lap

The way she tilts her forehead to my mouth when I ask for a kiss

The way she shares everything

Her belly laughs when singing the Teddy Bear song

The way she looks so grown up in her Yo Gabba Gabba Vans

Her love for being chased

How gentle she is with Spicoli (the cat) and is so proud of herself while petting him

The way she says "kitty"

The way she hugs "Penny"(her dolly pictured above) and all of her stuffed animal friends

Her adventurous spirit

Her love for anyone who smiles at her

I love you my sweet Logi Bear!

**the photos in this post are from my Instagram feed. Follow along in real time if you like!**

1 comment :

  1. Oh. Oh very scary.....It is without a doubt the most helpless felling in the world. You are a goog mama.