Thursday, January 22, 2015

Sharing My Heart With Her

Before Rory and I were parents.. before we were even married, we discussed religion and how we'd introduce it (or not introduce it) to our future children. Rory comes from a family of mostly non believers and though Rory went to a Christian camp and was in a youth group, he never opened his heart to God. For Rory, the universe is just too big and too great for it to have been made at the hand of a God. For me, that is the exact reason why I believe there is a God. We live in an endless universe and yet, we're here because of God's love.
We talked about wanting to raise our future children with open hearts and open minds and we still very much want that, but something happened when Logan was born and my heart felt a little different.

I was raised Catholic. I went to a Lutheran preschool, a Catholic Kindergarten, Catholic elementary school, Catholic junior high, and a Catholic high school. There was never anything else but the belief of Jesus and prayers to Saints and God's angels.. my life was Church and faith. When I was 19, I made the choice to leave the Catholic church (because it filled me with fear) and I found myself more in love with God and worship at a non-denominational Church. I pray every day, I am a believer in Christ. I would say that I am not a religious person.. I am a person whose faith is very important to her life.
Talking about God and Jesus every day is not something that is odd to me so I found myself talking to my daughter about it as well. When she was a tiny little bundle, I would pray over her as she drank her nightly bottle.. when she got old enough to see that there was a crucifix in her room, we said "thank you and I love you" to Jesus.. last Christmas when she was more cognitively aware of the season, we talked about all of the pieces in our nativity and she loved that baby Jesus was already recognizable to her. Before she was born, I didn't have any visions of myself praying with her or talking to her about Jesus.. I just figured that her faith would develop naturally (if at all) in whatever she wanted to believe in.

Talking to my daughter about Jesus and His love for us is something that gives me an overwhelming sense of peace and love. My heart is full when she asks to kiss Jesus goodnight and I am cherishing this love that is growing in her heart as well.
There will come a day when she may not want to believe in God anymore and as heartbreaking as that may be, I believe in God's plan and in His path for her, so she may open her heart again one day. She may decide to be Jewish, Agnostic, Buddhist.. whatever it may be, as long as she is a good person and kind to others, I will be proud and happy.

My faith in God has shaped me and saved me.. it's not for everyone. Whatever it is that she wants to put her love and faith in to is her choice; nowhere does it say that you can't be an incredibly caring and kind person if you're not a Christian. I am looking forward to seeing who she grows up to be, no matter what her faith is.

xo
-Ali

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